When in a relationship, the difference between love and lust may be very thin. One way to tell the difference is to ask yourself again what you feel.
Have you ever wondered whether your partner really loves you or just lust? The difference between love and lust may be easier for you to see when watching a movie, but when you experience it yourself, the two things may be almost no difference.
According to a recent study that monitors brain activity, love and lust activate different parts of the brain.
Researchers found that the areas of the brain that are activated by lust are the same ones that are also affected by pleasure from food and other pleasurable activities.
Meanwhile, the part of the brain that is activated by love is the part that is also influenced by rewards or feelings of satisfaction and pleasure from doing good things. However, further studies are still needed to corroborate these findings.
The difference between love and lust
The difference will be very visible when doing daily activities. Here are some differences in love and lust that may arise in partners:
1. How to spend time
When it’s just pure lust, you and your partner aren’t really interested in spending time without touching or sexual activity. However, that does not mean that love is devoid of lust. The difference is, you can spend time discussing other topics in your relationship or problems in real life.
2. Emotional and physical approach
Physical attraction is something that is based on lust and this may be the reason a person is attracted to their partner in the first place. However, when you want to spend time together and do lots of things, it slowly turns into love .. If your partner only praises your body, it could be that he is just following your lust. But if your partner tells you that he is happy when he can make you feel good, he may already be feeling love.
3. Fantasy of the future
When looking at the opposite sex, what image will emerge also determines the difference between love and lust. If the imagining that comes up is a desire to make the person happy, such as taking him on vacation to a romantic place or getting to know his family and friends, it may be true love. However, if what appears is the fantasy of making out with him, it means that you are only based on lust.
4. Daily experiences
Love can live with or without lust. This feeling will not fade over time and you may feel lost if you don’t meet your partner. On the other hand, lust can arise without being based on love and it is all based solely on physical pleasure and the desire to have sexual activity with other people.
5. How to look at your partner
The feeling of palpitations that arise every time you meet the opposite sex might happen to anyone. However, love will make you calmer and more confident in telling him many things, including personal things that you don’t share with others. As for lust, it focuses only on physical attraction.
However, lust and love can come together at first. Some people can express love in words and some people have to express it with actions.
Although the behavior may be different, you cannot immediately conclude that it is love or lust. The best way is to communicate with a partner.
Love and lust are both needed in a relationship
Love is not always above lust. So you can’t get rid of the lust in your partner’s mind or change it. Instead, you need lust to feel sexier, more attractive, and fun in a relationship.
It is not uncommon for lust to lead to true love and a very deep attachment to a partner. True love needs to be nurtured and goes through a long process. You need a compromise, patience, accepting a partner, to commitment.
Love can not be forced. You need to listen to your partner’s needs and respect everything he or she needs. Because feelings are very complex and vulnerable, you need to give your partner space to share their feelings with each other.
Knowing the difference between love and lust is also good for a relationship. Make sure you run into something related to interests, capacities, and time.
If your motivation in being in a relationship is only for lust, you should say it from the start and get the same perception as your potential partner. Do not let your partner feel used or wasted time because they have different views and motivations in the relationship.